Another Day Down

Lately I find myself wondering when I’m going to die. 

The thought never occurred to me when I was younger—plenty of time to think about that later. But now I’m beginning to face the reality that my time is approaching. There will soon be an end to my life, and I likely won't have much control over when.

If by some miracle I live as long as my mother did (96+ years), I have a mere 25 years left—and not all may be productive years if mind and/or body refuse to cooperate. Those are sobering thoughts. They make me feel like I need to figure out right away all the things I want to accomplish before I die: make a checklist, set deadlines, lay out a detailed implementation schedule.

But really, what’s the hurry? Other than putting my domestic affairs in order I have no big plans in mind—life seems to provide plenty of interesting projects to engage in, and they can unfold naturally as days go by. More to the point than what to do in my 20+ years may be the how. How do I want to live the time that’s left?

My friend Margaret was intrigued by a thought expressed in a book she read recently, to the effect that you should live each day realizing that your actions today will become a part of your past tomorrow. The idea was you shouldn’t do bad things that you’ll regret, but I like the corollary, that you can fill your days with actions that you’ll happily remember. What would those actions look like for me? This turns out to be an interesting exercise.

Here’s a first pass at a daily mantra for my remaining years. I want to…

·         Be a good friend to my friends.

·         Create beautiful experiences for my family members.

·         Take good care of my body.

·         Use my brain to its fullest.

·         Forgive myself for my mistakes.

·         Send thank you notes.

·         Approach each day with joy.

·         Rest when I need to.

If I can do these things for however many years I have left, I’m pretty sure I’ll die with no regrets.